Its Plague!

Who could have predicted the hatred that swine have for hockey?  Certainly not I, gentle reader.  Nor the team doctors of many an NHL franchise who now find themselves in the cloven, hoofy grasp of H1N1.  So put away your crystal balls, back into their cool purple velvet baggies with the drawstring, because it is already upon us!

And do not consult your periodic table of the elements my friends, I have already checked for you, and you will find no entry for H1N1.  If you want to know the molecular weight of this heinous disease, you are utterly, and completely, SOL.

The most recent victim, David Krejci of the Boston Bruins, has been sidelined indefinitely after contracting the infamous virus.  Indefinitely!  Length of time, indeterminable!  David could not be reached for comment as he, at the time, was busy using his uncanny shiftiness to keep the correct end of his body over the toilet.

Boston’s GM Peter Chiarelli announced in a press conference today, that he has agreed to comply with CDC recommendations and keep David isolated from the rest of the team until he is symptom and fever free for at least 24 hours.  Mr. Chiarelli, already dealing with the loss of his franchise center to a broken foot, has not only agreed to comply with the government’s standards, but is taking it a step further.  In order to protect the remainder of his lineup from disease, all players on the Boston NHL and AHL clubs will be given a more potent, and certainly more controversial H1N1 vaccination directly to the brain.

As you can see from the picture below, long time TD Garden custodian and second string peanut vendor Rari Huisalius, agreed to take part in the one person clinical trials.

Photo from fOTOGLIF

The courage in that man’s eyes says it all for me. If not courage, then it might also have something to do with being promised a pair of tickets in the “all you can eat” section of the Garden the next time the Panthers are in town.

Can Rari’s sacrifice save us from several weeks of scrub AHLers getting power play time? Nobody can really know for sure. But I, for one, am hopeful.